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Some famous, and some not so famous, beer quotes
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"People who don't drink are afraid of revealing themselves."
--  Humphrey Bogart

"My rule of life prescribed, as an absolutely sacred rite, smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals, and in the intervals between them."
--  Winston Churchill

"The man that isn't jolly after drinking is just a drivelling idiot, to my thinking."
--  Euripides

"When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvellous personality that started you drinking in the first place."
--  Jimmy Breslin

"They who drink beer will think beer."
--  Washington Irving

"I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion."
--  Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

"Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication."
--  Lord Byron

-- Homer Simpson

"Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and to celebrate the good days."
--  Egyptian Proverb

"A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure."
-- Czech Proverb

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
--  Brian O'Rourke

"The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer."
--  Egyptian Proverb

"Heres a toast to the roast that good fellowship lends, With the sparkle of beer and wine, May it's sentiment always be deeper, my friends, Than the foam at the top of the stein."
--  Anonymous Toast

"St. Patrick... one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish."
--  Charles M. Madigan

"Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs."
--  Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy"
--  Frank Sinatra

"What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers."
--  Dave Barry

"You can never buy beer, you just rent it."
--  Archie Bunker

"I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night."
--  Greek proverb

"I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol."
--  W.C. Fields

"I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety"
--  William Shakespeare (King Henry V)

"From a man's sweat and God's love, beer came into the world."
--  Saint Arnoldus

"A mind the caliber of mine cannot derive it's nutriment from cows."
--  George Bernard Shaw

"Nothing quenches the thirst like a wheat beer, or sharpens the appetite like an India pale ale.  Nothing goes as well with seafood as a dry porter or stout, or accompanies chocolate like an imperial stout.  Nothing soothes like a barleywine.  These are just a few of the specialty styles of beer."
--  Michael Jackson (The Beer Hunter, not the singer)

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading"
--  Henny Youngman

"It was as natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of having a meal without"
--  Ernest Hemingway

"Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies come to life and fade away. What care I how time advances; I am drinking ale today."
--  Edgar Allen Poe

"It is my design to die in the brew house; let ale be placed in my mouth when I am expiring, that when the choirs of angels come, they may say, "Be God propitious to this drinker."
--  St. Columbanus, A.D. 612

"I exercise extreme self control.  I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast."
--  W.C. Fields

"A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there is more conversation."
-- William Blake

"How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew.  I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter."
-- W.C. Fields

"Give my people plenty of beer, good beer and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them."
-- Queen Victoria

"Most people hate the taste of beer - to begin with.  It is, however, a prejudice that many people have been able to overcome."
-- Winston Churchill

"So popular is beer, the world's best-selling alcoholic drink, that it is often taken for granted. Yet scientific analysis shows that a glass of beer has within it as many aromas and flavors as fine wine. Not everyone understands this, but an increasing number of people do."
-- Michael Jackson (The Beer Hunter, not the singer)

"Of doctors and medicines we have in plenty more than enough... what you may, for the Love of God, send is some large quantity of beer."
-- Dispatch from the Colony, New South Wales, 1854

"It is better to think of church in the ale-house than to think of the ale-house in church."
-- Martin Luther

"Beer that is not drunk has missed it's vocation."
-- Meyer Breslau

"The good Lord has changed water into wine, so how can drinking beer be a sin?"
--Sign near a Belgian Monastery

"I envy people who drink, at least they know what to blame everything on."
-- Oscar Levant

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind"
-- Humphrey Bogart

"Make sure that the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop."
-- Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944

"Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer!"
-- Henry Lawson

"Give me a woman who loves beer and I shall conquer the world."
-- Kaiser Wilhelm

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
-- Dave Barry

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."
-- Homer Simpson

"Actually, it only takes me one drink to get drunk.  The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
-- George Burns

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
-- Cliff Clavin, Cheers Episode

"Work is the curse of the drinking class."
-- Oscar Wilde

"There is no such thing as a bad beer. It's that some taste better than others."
-- A.A. Milne

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
-- Frank Sinatra

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-- Benjamin Franklin

"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
-- Homer Simpson

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with the fools he must come in contact with every day."
-- Ernest Hemingway

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
-- Frank Zappa

 "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'"
-- Deep Thought, Jack Handy

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
-- Dave Barry